Talking Overseas Experience with Hong Kong Podcasters “Not A Romantic Story”
A few months ago, one of the hosts of my favorite HK podcast Not A Romantic Story, Cindy, reached out to me about doing a podcast with them.
Cue the nerves.
It had been my dream to do an episode with them since I started listening to their podcast, so I was really excited. I had been diligently listening to their podcast every week since they released their 4th episode, so I felt pretty confident that I knew them well enough to have an enjoyable conversation. The only thing I wasn’t confident about was my Cantonese.
The only thing I wasn’t confident about was my Cantonese.
Of course, if you watch my vlogs, you can tell that speaking Cantonese isn’t exactly foreign to me. But to be honest, my Cantonese can’t compare with native HK speakers, and on top of that I’d be speaking with them for the first time! Even though I had listened to so many of their episodes, it’s completely different to participate in the conversation vs. passively listening.
I’m sure this is a feeling that many overseas kids can relate to. I’m fine speaking my well-rehearsed, day-to-day Chinglish with my parents and close family, but when it comes to people I don’t know straight from the homeland? Well that’s a different story.
Thoughts of using the wrong word or not finding the word at all and embarrassing myself swirled around my head. Would they laugh at me and call me a jooksing? Would they have to give up and revert to speaking English?
These fears aren’t without reason. When I was growing up, people would sometimes dismiss my efforts in speaking Cantonese, laughing at my mistakes and saying, “Oh well, that’s just how these jooksing are!”
Of course as an adult, I feel more equipped in dealing with these situations. People rarely laugh in your face when you’re speaking a foreign language, in fact they’re generally excited and very supportive! Most importantly, I had to trust in the process and trust in my Cantonese which I’d been working on for years.
I had to trust in the process and trust in my Cantonese which I’d been working on for years.
But trust wasn’t enough to get me feeling prepared for the biggest Cantonese performance of my life! Cindy let me know roughly what she would be asking me about, and I added a couple extra lessons to my twice a week italki regimen. I did practice interviews with my conversation partner until my eyes and mouth were dry.
I touch on this lightly in the podcast, but part of my CBC "identity crisis” has been not feeling “Chinese enough,” which is why I’ve felt the need to prove my “Chineseness” to Hong Kongers. One way has been through speaking Cantonese.
Did I up my Canto training regimen to prove that? More importantly, did I prove to be as Chinese as them or Chinese enough?
While the feeling of wanting to be Chinese enough still lives in me, it’s not a strong as it used to be anymore.
Since starting Cantonese with Brittany, I’ve realized from connecting with so many of my viewers and followers that we are our own thing. And it’s pretty darn cool.
What this experience taught me was that while I may never be as Hong Konger or Chinese as native Hong Kongers, I’m enough as I am. I’m a Chinese girl born in Canada who can speak Cantonese and does a mishmash of Chinese and Western things. That’s my thing, and I’m pretty excited to start embracing it.
BONUS - Words from the podcast I wish I had known!
榮幸 wing4 hang6 - honored
全職 cyun4 zik1 - full time
拋 paau1 - to throw; “佢都拋到我呀” keoi5 dou1 paau1 dou2 ngo5 she threw me off
包袱 baau1 fuk6 - burden, worries
絕技 zyu6 gei6 - stunt, (in context) 出盡絕技 ceot3 zeon6 zyut6 gei6 pull all the stop, to go all out
商業模式 soeng1 jip6 mou4 sik1 - business model
心得 sam1 dak1 - takeaways; personal insights from one’s experience
煞食 saat3 sik6 - to be appealing; attractive
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